Taming Workplace INCIVILITY
Source: OfficePRO magazine, June/July 2003

BY KAREN FRITSCHER-PORTER

Ever been the victim of bad manners in the workplace? Perhaps you were the recipient of an insult by a peer or demeaning comment by a superior? Maybe you were just plain ignored or suffered some other discourteous treatment.

The Journal of Occupational Health Psychology cites study by University of Michigan researcher Lilia Cortina and her colleagues from two other universities that found 71 percent workers had experienced workplace incivility in the previous five years 1,100 workers surveyed). And that spark of rudeness wasn't from customers or other members of the general public, but from coworkers and superiors. And 44 percent of workers polled for OfficeTeam said the level of professional courtesy at work had decreased over the past five years.

Incivility, rudeness, and bad manners at work hinder productive communication and destroy workplace relationships. Fortunately, you can avoid being the victim and learn how to recognize when you're the culprit. It's also possible to deflect unsavory comments and behavior in a professional manner without taking it personally.

Devastating Results

Christine Pearson, associate professor of organizational behavior at the University of Western Ontario in Canada, has studied workplace incivility for five years. In a paper she co-authored for the journal Organizational Dynamics, she and two colleagues explained that "workplace civility behavior that helps to preserve the norms for mutual respect at work." Conversely, workplace incivility does just the opposite. And once incivility rears its nasty self into the workplace, the results can be devastating to the culprits as well as those around them and the organization itself.

In Cortina's study, employees who experienced uncivil treatment reported lower job satisfaction. Plus the employees withdrew from their jobs through repeated tardiness, unnecessary sick days, and simply not working very hard anymore.

The results are similar in a survey Pearson conducted with 775 respondents who answered questions about unpleasant interactions involving rudeness, insensitivity, and disrespect inflicted by a coworker while at work. Not only did 94 percent of the respondents describe their uncivil encounter to someone else inside or outside the work environment, but 53 percent lost work time worrying about the incident or future interactions, 46 percent contemplated changing jobs to avoid the instigator, 37 percent reduced their commitment to the organization, 28 percent lost work time avoiding the instigator, 22 percent decreased their effort at work, 12 percent actually changed jobs to avoid the instigator, and 10 percent decreased the amount of time that they spent at work.

What were some of these incidents of workplace incivility that caused all these reactions? If you're thinking that to have these ramifications, it must have been something big like a workplace violence issue, forget it. "Research reveals that incivility occurs much more frequently" than workplace violence or avenging scenarios, say Pearson and her colleagues. These day-to-day workplace incivilities reported in Pearson's survey by employees who were its targets included receiving nasty and demeaning notes, child-like treatment, accusations of lack of knowledge, unreasonable requests, name calling, rebukes for actions not theirs, undermined credibility in front of others, procrastination of others for which the employee target was expected to make up lost time, exclusion from relevant meetings, and shouting and yelling.

How does all this affect you? If you're the direct victim of workplace incivility, you may experience stress from working in an environment that's uncomfortable and uninviting. And stress can lead to health problems. You may become fearful and worry about what's to come.

As a witness or bystander to workplace incivility, the low morale and absenteeism in the workplace from victims of workplace incivility can translate to you in terms of you having to pick up the productivity slack. After all, if your coworker is missing work due to a workplace incivility conflict, somebody has to pick up the load, not to mention correcting his or her mistakes if the quality of the victim's work has deteriorated. That's why whether you're the victim, culprit, or witness to workplace incivility, you may want to be concerned about its rise in the workplace. And about diminishing its emergence.

"Incivility includes both things you do and don't do," says Liz Hughes, executive director of Menlo Park, California-based OfficeTeam, a specialized temporary staffing service for administrative professionals. "For example, in regard to things you do, maybe you ignore a colleague's request for information. And an example of things you don't do could be you don't recognize somebody for his or her help with a project. If people can treat others as they would like to be treated, we would really have a much more civil workplace."

"It's making the effort to treat others respectfully," adds Pearson. "Some of us do it naturally; some don't."

What some may consider uncivil in the workplace others may consider perfectly acceptable. That's why you might want to take the safe civil road by consistently minding your manners in the business world and going above and beyond where extending courtesy is concerned. "Workplace incivility can be viewed as a social interaction that unfolds among two or more parties at work, an interaction that can be interpreted differently by different parties," say Pearson and her research colleagues. They point out that a distinguishing feature of incivility is its ambiguity and that its intent to harm or injure another is not obvious.

So while taking the last cup of coffee and failing to make another pot may not be hurtful or even intentionally discourteous to your coworkers, it still can be perceived by some as incivility in the workplace. And again, one coworker may welcome your plopping down uninvited on the corner of her desk to chat, but another may see this as a lack of respect.

Self Evaluation

Some will say the roots of workplace incivility are in electronic technology as a less-personalized form of communication.

Others say it's the economy prompting employers to dish out bigger workloads to fewer staff. How much individual control do you have over the economy? Still others say that employees bring outside stress into the workplace. Can you ensure your life always runs smoothly with no stressful surprises at home? Hardly.

So if finding the cause doesn't ensure a cure to workplace incivility, what can you do?

A quick look in the mirror may be the first step toward curing workplace incivility. And, it's one of the only steps you really have any true control over. "If people can be more civil in the workplace, it does eliminate communication breakdowns," Hughes says. "It does help in terms of the quality of work and productivity, and employees tend to spend less time on arguments or conflict and more time on getting things accomplished. It's a constant effort and people start with themselves, which is really all we can control at the end of the day."

You can probably easily recall a time when you've been the victim of workplace incivility. But have you thought that perhaps you've been inconsiderate of coworkers at times? "We have data confirming that almost all of us behave uncivilly occasionally," Pearson says. "The real problem is the habitually uncivil employee."

A few more "pleases" and "thank yous" won't eliminate workplace incivility. "Fundamentally, it's all about treating others with respect--a bigger issue than the manners implicit in 'please' and 'thank you,'" says Pearson.

Hughes agrees. "To be more civil in the workplace, you must stick to deadlines, return messages promptly, be on time and prepared for meetings, clean up after yourself in the kitchen, and even make an extra pot of coffee if you take the last cup. Also, give credit where credit is due if someone has helped you on a project to ensure people are aware that person deserves credit for helping. And it's really important to respect other people's time and need for privacy.

"People may start to model that behavior but certainly when they're interacting with you, they may start to exhibit that behavior," Hughes adds. "So at least in that one-on-one relationship, things can really improve."

When the occasional person barges into the office of OfficeTeam's Hughes, she says, "I try to in a very courteous and tactful way let them know 'I'm actually in the middle of something right now. Knowing that this is a priority for you but that I have these other things going on, I will probably not be able to get to that until the end of the day today and I can probably return that first thing tomorrow. Is that going to be OK?' It seems to work if I respond in a calm way. I think you have to stand your ground a little bit, but the way in which you communicate it is what it's all about."

Sally Ande CPS, an executive assistant who works in a hospital in Pennsylvania, is pleased with the civil behavior of her peers and colleagues. But sometimes she has to deal with uncivil behavior from outside sources. One former patient calls repeatedly with complaints or needs after consuming alcohol and uses loud and abusive language. "The best way to defuse someone who is so angry is to remain calm and friendly," she says. "Never promise anything you cannot deliver, but promise that you or someone will get back to them. I returned a call to another lady, just to let her know that the person who could help her still did not return from a meeting. She was very appreciative." Ande believes you can use the same techniques with uncivil coworkers or supervisors.

"It's best not to burn bridges at any level. Treat everyone with the same level of courtesy," says Hughes.

One employee learned this lesson well when his subordinate became his supervisor. As workplace incivility transgressions continuously flamed from both individuals, only one of them was eventually terminated. Not all those guilty of workplace incivility stand in the unemployment line. Some in positions of power may be left standing.

So mind your manners even in instances when you know the other person isn't minding his or hers.

"Diffuse the situation when possible and just don't take it so personally," adds Hughes. "It might not have been intended to be the way that it was perceived."

Karen Fritscher-Porter is a freelance writer in Bloomingdale GA.

Are You Rude at Work?

Have you ever done this?

Left the copier knowingly jammed and walked away?

Ate without permission someone else's food or beverages in the shared fridge?

Purposely not greeted or acknowledged someone at the office?

Interrupted someone speaking to someone else or stole away the person with whom they were speaking?

Took the last cup of coffee without making more?

Omitted publicly giving credit to a colleague on a project?

Shouted at a coworker or superior?

Stood over a coworker who was having a telephone conversation?

Beyond Civility: How to Really Get Along With Coworkers

BY SHARI PEACE

Studies show that tough relationships and disagreements deflate work morale faster than anything else.

It makes sense, then, that working to strengthen relationships can do wonders for your productivity: Fix the conflict, feel better, and get more done. The tougher the relationship, the bigger your payoff in working to make it better. It's probably safe to say that most people want to fix strained relationships and are even willing to invest the time and energy to do so. But here's the tricky part: You may be focusing on how you want the other person to change. If they do change, that's a great bonus. But because that may not happen, a smarter strategy is to select the best tools you can use to navigate through whatever obstacles appear in your path to constructive relationships.

Try these tips to make even the thorniest relationships easier to handle:

■ Attack the problem, not the person. Imagine that you aren't getting information you need from another department, and it's causing your work to suffer. You may presume the other department is lazy, or doesn't care, or is trying to sabotage your success. Instead of attacking the people involved, attack the problem. Suggest a meeting to determine what the problem is and why you aren't getting the information. The real problem may be short staffing or system problems--or they may not be getting the information they need from someone else. You'll stay solution-oriented and engage others with your professionalism intact.

■ Look for the good in the people who frustrate you the most. It isn't necessary to like all your coworkers, but it is necessary to treat everyone with respect. The best way to respect someone is to discover their strengths, skills, or contributions; then, focus on those instead of what you don't like. The more you can recognize a person's good qualities, the easier it is to show them genuine respect.

■ Don't let the "crabs" get you down. A crab is the type of person for whom nothing is ever right, nothing is ever good enough, and there's not one single thing they can do to make it better in their mind, at least). If you stay determined, you can keep a "crab" from pulling you down to their level. Use these 5 steps:

1. Try to understand why they're negative. They may be dealing with a serious life issue. Understanding may help you be more sympathetic and less frustrated.

2. Talk to them about it. Tell them you've noticed they have seemed a little down and offer to help. They may exercise their right not to divulge anything, but it may help just to know someone cares. It also can help them realize how they're coming across they truly may not realize how much their negativity is affecting others).

3. Avoid them if the situation doesn't show signs of improvement.

4. Remove them from your environment (if possible and if truly necessary).

5. Have a "recovery plan." If steps 1-3 above haven't worked, and you can't remove them (which is often the case with a coworker), have a plan for how you'll replenish your good mood after you come into contact with them. A recovery plan will help make sure that even if you can't change the situation, you can at least make sure it won't destroy your mood and your productivity all day.

■ Give one more compliment or piece of praise every day. Studies show that the No. 1 motivator for most employees is feeling appreciated. While that recognition can and should come from managers, every employee can make it a priority to say thanks" more often.

■ Keep your attitude as positive as possible, whatever your circumstances. It's easy to think your attitude is determined by other people and by uncontrollable events in your life. But that's true, you've lost control over your own life. Be resolved to be as happy possible, for just five minutes at a time. You'll feel better, you'll be easier to get along with.

Shari Peace is president of Peace Talks, a Dayton, OH-based professional speaking firm, and is the author of Crank It Out! How Get More Done--At Work & In Your Life. Reach her at peacetalks@msn.com or at 877.808.8520.