I'm sorry to do this, but I need a place to speak freely with people that understand.

 

 

I'm sitting for the March CAP Exam.  I swear I've studied every free moment I've had since mid-December.  I've put classes for my Bachelor's degree on hold until I finish this test. I'm not going to lie, I've worried about the test, but I've come to the realization that I've absolutely done everything I possibly could to prepare and I'm at peace with that.  If I fail, I'll simply have to retest in September. 

I'm overwhelmed a bit.  As I said, I've been studying for the exam since mid-December.  I was promoted to the Director's Administrative Assistant back in the Fall despite not having a Director in place at the time.  We recently hired a new Director so I have a new boss, I'm in a new office, and I have all new co-workers.  All of this happened this month.  Not work related, but I'm training for a marathon.  I'll actually take the CAP Exam March 20th and run my marathon on March 25th.  (Good news is I haven't had time to worry about my marathon for being worried about the CAP Exam).

I know it's probably because of stress, but I'm losing my WHY.  My WHY I chose to sit for the CAP Exam.  My WHY I chose to go back and get my Bachelors.  I have eight more classes before I graduate and I can't stand the thought of studying anything else EVER again.  My WHY I took this new job as the Director's assistant. 

I have no choice but to finish everything I've started.  It's all I know how to do, but it certainly makes this final month before the test and the marathon much more difficult.

 

Thanks for letting me vent,

Brandy

Brandy, because you're a go-getter! If it takes less stress off you, don't sit for the CAP exam. A Bachelor's degree is the superlative equivalent. As much as I highly support the CAP certification and my company celebrated my achievement, you can choose its importance to you.
Also, having courage is the number one takeaway our administrative team had at work in recent training. The CAP is definitely about a "I can do this" attitude.
Celebrate your awesomeness and your new job will fall into place. It's probably the most important thing. I've had jobs where I felt lost and what a difference a few months makes.
All the best
Libby

Brandy,

I totally understand where you're coming from. You should be proud of yourself already...look how much you are working towards! Many people wouldn't have the confidence to even try. I think the reason you took all of this on, is because in your heart you KNOW you can do it. In the short term, just focus on on thing at a time, and don't let your mind go elsewhere. If it helps, you can even mark days on your calendar that you are going to work on. Obviously, work is going to have to be an every day thing, but the CAP and the marathon training can be split up into different days or different parts of the day. Each time you are scheduled to focus on something, take a moment to determine what you could accomplish in that session that will make you feel satisfied. And bottom line: All you can do is do your best. So remind yourself each day, "I did my best today, and I'll do my best tomorrow." You will get there, and then you will have so much to be proud of!
Best of luck,
Jen

Brandy - Kudos to you for everything you've already accomplished!  Be proud of yourself and don't be so hard on you.  We are the harshest critics of ourselves.  Think of what you have accomplished - taking on a new position, a commitment to health (marathon) and a commitment to your education.  Taking the test and going to college is difficult.  Just going to college and working full time is difficult.  You are wise to recognize that you couldn't take class and the test at the same time.  

YOU ARE A STRONG PERSON. I can see that in the way you write and talk about what you are doing.   I think you probably took on these challenges because you like to stretch yourself and challenge yourself.  You will succeed.  I would recommend that you think back to when you filled out the application for the CAP test and think of why you filled it out, write that down and keep that posted somewhere that you can see daily to keep yourself in a better mood.

The very best luck to you in all of your activities.

I think the attitude you are bringing in of peace and acceptance is exactly the right one to have. You CAN do this! You have prepared as much as you could. You will succeed!

Marie